While in India, a goal I have set for myself is to re-learn ‘patience’…
Back home in Amsterdam, I often find myself getting wrapped up with the swarm of people trying to fight through a crowd, or the flurry of cyclists overtaking each other, and with the ever growing workload and to do list. Basically just every day tasks, movements etc.
It’s not often that I remind myself to slow down. Even in times where there is no need to be rushing, I am still pushing myself to do more, and in order to do more and to do said thing faster and then the next thing and so on. When I do happen to reflect, it’s usually forgotten by a small distraction and then I’m back to rushing. For instance, while riding my bike somewhere, I usually always leave earlier than required anyway (since I hate to be late) but I always have a need and something driving me to be overtaking everyone and anyone in my path, to go through some red/orange lights unnecessarily and to be biking at a fast pace.
I don’t remember when I stopped enjoying the journey and forgot to appreciate what is around me. But I forgot this along with my patience. While I am biking so hard past everyone I’m also often finding myself getting frustrated at these other cyclists who apparently don’t have anywhere to be at the same speed I do. This same frustration applies to being misunderstood (this happens many times daily due to language barriers), or people who are not in a rush and therefore ‘in my way’ or those who just simply aren’t robotic speed learners. And I know that it’s incredibly unreasonable for me to be so impatient and frustrated by others. But at the time, I can’t help that feeling from happening. That feeling of letting go, feeling patient and not frustrated by others’ speeds and ways of thinking, acting, etc is what I need, primarily for my own happiness and mental health, but also for the sake of others to also feel appreciated and understood.